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Where’d Her Self Esteem Go? + How to Get it Back (Part 2)

Today’s article is the 2nd piece of a 3-part guest post by Karen Schachter of Dishing with your Daughter. Karen’s mission is to help moms and their daughters to value & nourish themselves, to love their bodies, and to trust their intuition — so, of course, you can see why I’ve been a huge fan of her work since the moment I discovered her. 🙂

In Parts 1, 2, and 3 of this article, you will discover how and when most young girls begin to lose their self-confidence, AND over 15 ways you as a mom (or other positive role model) can help them to recover their high self-esteem.

And PSSSST, here’s a secret! All of the tips Karen shares can be used to boost *your* self-esteem, too! Pick a couple to try, and let me know how it works for you in the comments below!

Where’d Her Self-Esteem Go? (+ 17 Ways to Save It or Get It Back)

by Karen Schachter

Image by duchesssaI’ve created a list of 17 ideas for you to incorporate into your daughter’s life to help maintain – or build – a healthy self-esteem. These go way deeper than telling her she’s beautiful or smart, or reassuring her when she feels like no one likes her. But they are also not a magic pill…like anything worth doing, supporting and building your daughter’s self-esteem is an ongoing job.

If you haven’t read the first part of this article, please do so by clicking here.

Here are the next 6 ideas from my list.
See if you can incorporate at least 1 of them in your life today!

7. Find strong empowered role models to be involved in your daughter’s life. I have consciously chosen several women I deeply admire to take active roles in my daughter’s life. I can not tell you how reassuring this is.

8. Pay attention to what her dreams are. Never say, “oh, that’s cute, but that’s not realistic.” Her dreams are HER dreams. Believe in her and help her reach them.

9. Ask your daughter to tell you what she did today (or every day!) that made her proud. If she has a hard time answering, help her by identifying things that you think may have made her proud (“Wow, I was impressed you did X.” Did you feel good about that?”). The key here is that you are trying to help HER be proud of herself, rather than needing to make you proud (because “nice” girls always try to make others happy, giving away their own power).

10. It’s great to let her know you’re proud of her, too! But be careful to not praise EVERY WONDERFUL action your daughter does. Over time, if a child is so used to being praised for everything, she begins to rely on this praise to feel good about herself. Try noticing, recognizing and validating instead of praising sometimes.

11. Teach her to be KIND to other girls and to see the best in them. And talk with her about the importance of being extremely kind to herself as well as being a caring person of others. Let her see YOU caring for your own needs!

12. Celebrate failure!!

Come back Monday for Part 3 of this article and learn 5 more ideas for helping you and your daughter build great self-esteem!

Karen SchachterKaren Schachter believes that each of us deserve to feel nourished, joyful and at peace with food and in our lives. She helps women and girls – with a specific focus on supporting moms so they can support themselves and their daughters – to value themselves, tune into their intuition, and nourish their bodies, their minds and their spirits. Karen works from a “psychology of eating” perspective and combines her understanding of emotional issues with her nutrition knowledge to help clients make real, long-lasting changes in their lives.

Karen Schachter’s Dishing With Your Daughter is written by Karen Schachter. Please note that the information contained here is not intended as medical or psychological advice. Please consult a licensed professional before making any dietary changes. If you have an eating disorder, please seek help from a professional. If you have questions or comments about this article, you may submit them through a comment below, or send them to: